So I think I might of really found the "one"
What's funny is I knew him in high school I worshipped him then and we have reconnected on a total friendship level only
I feel an equality but I look up to him and respect him in a different way. We have zero sexual history it's all friend based and love. And honesty, we had the best conversation tonight ( Read more... )

Reread the last 4 years.... Have over stayed my welcome with myself TIME TO CHANGE MUST DO NOW!!!!

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I have always been a mess it just varies on degrees. And I am hyper self critical, which is part of the reason I moved the first trauma induced situation. Now there is no trauma except I have come to realize reality and just lost all faith since Scott died. I have been insuper denial but it really hit me tonight for some reason... But when he died ( Read more... )

So gonna try to take LJ onto blogspot and be me with everyone who finds it.. Still debating names and terrified to let everyday ppl have that much access

So so scared

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OMG I am an idiot!! I really need a babysitter sometimes. Wtf was I thinking last night??? Aggghhhhh

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Can we talk about how no one in my day to day life really knows me? Since my divorce I have shut it down it's so few and far between... I have segregated life so much. I don't really want to be this way but it has been a solid 8 years of no love, no relationship. There have been some minor - tried to let them in- relationships. But I don't know if ( Read more... )

It's nice to feel missed and hopefully I am on the upswing out of my depression. Been in a DEEP dark place for a while.,, it's a cycle, not my first. Oh but what a struggle it is, I wish I would of stopped this low sooner there were a couple cries to the wrong ppl. And the ppl who are asking where have u been, and the few who have reached out and ( Read more... )

Just remembering a random dream with the most Cajun accented chef and amazing food but with a true redneck/hillbilly family

Don't know why but haven't remembered dreams for the last year until a couple weeks ago an man have they been crazy

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So get ready Chicago the "ladies" are invading tomorrow! I am so stoked I can't wait to go to the Shedd Aquarium. I just want to soak up some ocean time. Man I miss Costa Rica and the peace and joy I get from the waves everyday.

I expect the weekend to be legend.... Wait for it
dary!
God I love Barney Stinson

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It's funny how LJ has changed and some of us have lost that youthful inhibition and freedom. I think it's because we've watched the Internet evolve and the geeky innocence has been swallowed by the soul sucking social media movement.

What used to be a place for expression seems to me to now be more about finding fame.

I am going to try and ignore ( Read more... )